When it comes to trying to get pregnant, some couples put themselves on a mission. They know everything there is to know about the reproductive process, they have plans and guidance and even sex schedules. These are the couples who you just know are going to wind up being helicopter parents to their children, but you admire their dedication.
For the majority of couples, conception is something that is more a gentle route to the end goal. It often takes the form of just stopping using birth control. You continue to have sex as normal, both content to wait and see what nature has got in store for you. It’s an exciting time- or at least, it is initially.
As the months pass, you can begin to wonder what on earth is going on. Your period shows up without fail, the cramps just worsening your mood and burgeoning expectation. Eventually, you begin to wonder if the planner parents had it right all along. Or perhaps your mind dips somewhere even darker, and you begin to wonder if you need fertility testing.
If you’re at that point, take a minute and breathe. While some women have sex once and fall pregnant from it, it can take months – or even years – for others. Both sets of women have nothing wrong with them. It’s just like most things in nature; it takes time for some, while others race ahead. It doesn’t mean you’re trying to conceive in the wrong way, or that you might have fertility issues. The time just isn’t right yet.
The most important thing to bear in mind is that all that stress mentioned above could be the problem. If you’re beginning to wonder why you are not pregnant, it will be causing anxiety and concern- not ideal scenarios for conception. The idea of making yourself calm down about something you are justifiably concerned about may seem alien, but it’s essential.
So give it awhile. It can take six months for birth control to wear off anyway, so most doctors will recommend at least a year of the natural method. It can’t hurt to adapt a few planning techniques, using an ovulation calculator and even engaging in a few old wives tales about how to get pregnant. But keep it minimal, don’t go overboard or start requesting invasive testing that may do more harm than good.
Keeping yourself in the right frame of mind is essential to all of this succeeding. You may not subscribe to the idea of mind over matter, but it’s been shown time and time again. It’s not uncommon for women to fall pregnant during an adoption process, having thought that they were infertile. The moment they take their minds off the focus of pregnancy and on to something else, nature takes its course.
Take a few simple steps, ensure you are having sex at the most useful times, but otherwise, step back and let be. Your doctor will know when the time for further examination may be required, so let them worry about that, not you.
